* remember this girl *

Good bye 2011

2012-01-01T00:18:00.001+08:00

Good bye heartbreak
Good bye heartache
it's been a painful year i would say
so, Good bye 2011

difficult it may have been
tough times, no doubt
but these important people in my life
they knew not but left the most beautiful memory for my 2011

...then hopefully 2012 will be a better year
perhaps.

bto

2011-11-02T19:35:00.000+08:00

please don't take my house away ):

haiz

2011-09-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

又是这样的一天...

September 2011 BTO

2011-09-22T12:41:00.001+08:00

SCREAMS!!
OUR BTO HAS BEEN LAUNCHED =D

FML

2011-09-20T22:17:00.002+08:00

i spent my day doing nothing.
and i mean absolutely nothing.
i do not, not even the least bit, appreciate anyone labelling this as 'good life'.

somehow i have a feeling this shit is here to stay.
as far as i'm concerned, it definitely wasn't what i signed up for.

Cbaby

2011-09-15T23:36:00.001+08:00

Bike bathing with baby at the void deck now.
Of course i'm just watching at the side, but i guess the water really likes me cause it keeps flowing towards me (:

Been a long time since our last off day together.
Today, we went to a movie together for the first time.
I got myself a new pair of glasses due for collection next Tuesday. So did he!
My Gmarket orders have arrived. But our BTO is still not launched yet :(

There's always too little time and too many things to do. Sad, isn't it?
I'm just gonna go sit around and watch my boy shower his other baby.
Oh wells~

Cbaby

2011-09-03T00:25:00.000+08:00

有时候你的不用心
真的让我很伤心

home alone. not.

2011-09-01T13:15:00.002+08:00

september is finally here.
my off day is finally here.
i'm home alone.
well, not exactly home and not exactly alone.
what should i do today?

Cbaby

2011-08-30T10:33:00.001+08:00

my boyfriend is a very busy man.
sigh~

ring-ed

2011-08-13T11:15:00.001+08:00

Wikipedia: An engagement is a promise to marry, and also the period of time between proposal and marriage.

I'm engaged (:

back from genting

2011-08-04T16:00:00.002+08:00

went genting with baby
just came back yesterday
so, hello people (:

today, we've been together for 2 months
not long, but enough for me to realize that i do
i do love you
i love you still

ONLINE

2011-07-11T03:28:00.001+08:00

i'm hoping like crazy that this is a major whatsapp bug.
you think?

it's driving me insane.
no joke.

Cbaby

2011-07-08T01:10:00.002+08:00

i guess no matter how hard you try to be nonchalent about something
if it means something to you, it'd leave an impression in you

somehow that is making things fall into place now

anyway, for memories' sake:
you came back on 4th June 2011

Cbaby

2011-07-07T13:44:00.002+08:00

bottling things up has never been a good idea.
finally plucked up the courage to stand up for my fear.
if anything, i at least earned myself a good night's sleep.

this is the last time, i hope.
you are the last one, i hope.
let's do this again.
baby, i love you.

FML

2011-07-04T17:42:00.002+08:00

so you're lying to me like i'm some dumb fuck.
so this is who i am to you.
fuck you.

Cbaby

2011-07-02T22:00:00.002+08:00

that's the best you've got?
i feel insulted, really.
but i lol-ed at your weak attempt.
good job.

trust me, you won't want to see the bitch in me.
i will not allow myself to be hurt the same way one more time.

Zeejay

2011-07-01T20:40:00.000+08:00

i love zijing (:

Cbaby

2011-07-01T00:19:00.002+08:00

没有承诺
没有誓言
没有陪伴
没有安全感

只是有一种很想哭的冲动
只是需要一种很简单的快乐

寂寞

2011-06-26T00:47:00.003+08:00

心情不好.

Cbaby

2011-06-25T23:06:00.002+08:00

what are we?

the thing about us is
i don't know the answer to this
so, what are we?

baby say something.

Cbaby

2011-06-24T22:19:00.002+08:00

if anyone still reads this.

yes, i'm at baby's place now.
i guess this is it.
i guess i'll make use of whatever i have left to believe.
one more time.
one last try.

and will you at least not walk away the way you did four years ago
because i don't want to go through that whole shit anymore

tasd

2011-06-22T23:02:00.001+08:00

some nights i miss you
i still do

Day 38

2011-06-17T04:32:00.001+08:00

it's been way too long
no, i know... not really
but enough of guessing
it's time for me to go sweety

Cbaby

2011-06-14T13:50:00.002+08:00

也许玩够了就是时候开始去接受你
也许这次该学会如何去相信你

心里存有一种想要放弃的冲动

2B

2011-06-11T00:29:00.002+08:00

awesome performance at practise today.
good job (:

if i steered clear 4 years ago,
none of this would have happened.

Cbaby

2011-06-08T05:20:00.003+08:00

baby, listen to me.
i don't know how to believe.

my advice is:
either you prove it to me,
or hurt yourself badly.

Cbaby

2011-06-06T03:44:00.001+08:00

maybe i really should give you a chance to prove it.
maybe i will.

Cbaby

2011-06-05T00:46:00.001+08:00

you're back.
it's payback time.

Day 17

2011-05-27T00:20:00.000+08:00

能不能爱了就不后悔?

Day 16

2011-05-26T00:46:00.002+08:00

what do you want from me?

triple combo

2011-05-24T03:02:00.001+08:00

why are all of you doing this to me?
why?

day 10

2011-05-20T01:45:00.003+08:00

我会一直默默地守护着你
做你最好的听众
我可以做你最好的朋友
我能给的也只是这么单纯的友谊
就这么简单

sigh

2011-05-19T01:13:00.002+08:00

thanks, for countless things you don't even know about.
just thanks for ever having been around.

day 3

2011-05-14T05:10:00.001+08:00

you're confusing me.

booked!

2011-05-12T03:10:00.002+08:00

YES i can start packing!
okay, abit too soon.
but you get the idea (:

-

at least better than i expected it.
thanks.

tasd

2011-05-11T01:50:00.002+08:00

you made me smile
(",)

i'm coming home

2011-05-07T01:28:00.003+08:00

gonna cut class next week
hopefully by the week after i'll be good to go

dear singapore,

just bear with me for a little while more.

love,
me

it's about time to start the final countdown (:

tasd

2011-05-05T12:46:00.002+08:00

you said you're not ready.
did you forget?

secret

2011-05-01T22:52:00.004+08:00

how long more can i pretend that everything is ok
till everyone finds out what goes on when i'm all alone

until the day you are ready

tasd

2011-05-01T04:00:00.003+08:00

was it my imagination,
or was it really you?

it was so real.
don't you know how much i miss you?
can't you feel how much i love you?

tasd

2011-04-30T01:57:00.003+08:00

you already have.
right here, i'm here.

-

yes, i know i'm very capable of falling down.
but this time, for the first time in years,
no one is here to tend to my wound after a bad fall.
i have no idea what to do about it apart from asking for a plaster.
it made me want to cry when my friend had to help me stick it on.
because the people who has been by my side doing these little things,
i remember how i so conveniently cast them aside when you came along,
i recall how i hurt them the day you walked away.
and i wouldn't tell how i fell, because they'd only hate you even more.

but they just don't understand.
they won't understand how i can love somebody the way i do.
the way i love you.

tasd

2011-04-29T03:30:00.003+08:00

i made it through.
took me so long. i tried so hard, fell so bad.
but i did it.

beautiful day, so i was saying.

and then... i saw you.
tonight.

tasd

2011-04-28T01:40:00.001+08:00

i'll never forget

tasd

2011-04-25T23:18:00.002+08:00

i'm not pathetic.
i only let my guards down because it's you.

i'm sorry i tried so hard to be who you wanted me to be
rather than just being me.
but if there's anyone in this world who would do anything for you,
that person is me.
and i don't regret.
and you know it.

i won't cry, why should i?
nobody's gonna see that side of me again.

i love you.

tasd

2011-04-24T00:47:00.001+08:00

when you snap out of it all
i will be right here

tasd

2011-04-21T01:51:00.000+08:00

i don't know why
i don't need to

i just know it
(:

just a guy

2011-04-20T01:10:00.000+08:00

you're just a guy and that's just fine
do what you do but just be mine
you drive me mad and that's okay
we have a deal.. you know..
the basic fact is i'm a girl

~~~~

2B or not to be

2011-04-17T00:28:00.005+08:00

i don't know where i got this determination
i just so badly want to do it
yes, of course, there are times i stop and i think
and honestly i am above all very afraid

is it an impulse yet again?
will the adrenaline rush simply fade away?

but then again
if i never try, i'll never know

-

at the end of the day
the ulterior motive
is it still because of you?
believe me or not
i no longer know.

tasd

2011-04-15T01:19:00.002+08:00

pardon me.
just one night, tonight.

i love you.

tasd

2011-04-12T03:00:00.002+08:00

you can't stand the way people look at it.
but you can't bear to do it.

-

oww. my leg hurts.
but it's worth it (:
i have a surprise for all of you.
i can do this!

They remind me too much of you

2011-04-11T02:42:00.001+08:00

Take away the scent of flowers
Cover up the sky of blue
Close my ears to tender love songs
They remind me too much of you

Hide young lovers' warm embraces
Keep stars and moonlight from my view
Let me forget there are such places
They remind me too much of you

Must I evermore be haunted?
Day after day, my whole life through
By the memory of each moment
That I spent alone with you

If these lovely things don't hurt you
Our love just wasn't meant to be
But please come back to me, my darling
If they remind you too much of me

fully redeemed

2011-04-09T23:20:00.016+08:00

finally the damn thing is over.
hopefully more time for everything else.
question is, what else is there?
problem is, i'm not telling (:
lame, yah. hahas.

-

it's okay, i always say.
just that every single time i still want you to be the first to know.
maybe that's why hardly anyone knows anything anymore.

^{i did so you'd be happy.
but if you're not then come back, baby.}

reply reply

2011-04-08T12:57:00.002+08:00

my whole body is aching like CRAZY.
but i can't wait for the next!

-

anyway, i did ask you not to go right from the start.
maybe it slipped your mind.
maybe i didn't say it clear enough.
but it's okay, baby.
until you're all ready.

first

2011-04-07T23:53:00.004+08:00

awesome!
you'd never believe i did this. hahaha (:

what a long day.
roasting under hot sun..
freezing in air conditioned room..
long traveling distance..
dozed off on train..
late for lesson..
fell down probably a million times today, but still!

exhausted but starving.
roar!

happy 24th

2011-04-07T01:29:00.001+08:00

a very happy birthday
to a very special someone

be happy (:

1

2011-04-06T23:15:00.001+08:00

oh no, oh no.
nervous!

tomorrow please don't rain.
just don't!

dead and gone

2011-04-06T18:41:00.001+08:00

rush hour.
it's lesson time again!
eyes, PLEASE don't close ):

-

the old me's dead and gone
dead and gone

tasd

2011-04-02T05:52:00.001+08:00

i miss you like crazy

grenade

2011-03-31T00:55:00.002+08:00

是因为树的不挽留?
还是因为叶子假装听不见树的苦苦哀求?

-

i'd catch a grenade for ya
throw my hand on a blade for ya
i'd jump in front of a train for ya
you know i'd do anything for ya
i would go through all this pain
take a bullet straight through my brain
yes i would die for you, baby

blackie

2011-03-29T13:59:00.002+08:00

shut up lah, indian.
stop being so jealous and all.
you damn lame.
HAHA!

tasd

2011-03-27T06:27:00.000+08:00

i really, really love you

tasd

2011-03-24T03:47:00.003+08:00

baby, please stay.

because of you

2011-03-21T03:02:00.002+08:00

i cannot cry
because i know that's weakness in your eyes

love.

tasd

2011-03-19T03:00:00.001+08:00

exactly one month

baby, i miss you

TT

2011-03-15T03:40:00.000+08:00

where'd you go
i miss you so

forever love

2011-03-06T05:32:00.000+08:00

我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后你会是所有幸福的理由

goodbye

2011-03-01T08:31:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry.

don't

2011-02-27T19:39:00.003+08:00

You were everything, everything that I wanted

Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?

please

2011-02-23T11:44:00.003+08:00

the pain is excruciating.

HELP

2011-02-20T06:33:00.001+08:00

no, this isn't happening.

please.

valentine's day 2011

2011-02-15T11:13:00.001+08:00

day after valentine's and all smiles (:

dear thomas,

i love you.
i love you.
i love you.

(",)

pain

2011-01-09T00:53:00.001+08:00

it hurts.
so bad... so bad...

but, i can't tell anyone anymore.

tears

2010-11-12T11:45:00.003+08:00

i wasn't distracted.
i wasn't doing anything...
just crying and unable to sound like i wasn't.

can you understand that?
can you understand me?

if i keep pretending everything in my life is ok
perhaps one day it really will be

happy birthday

2010-11-11T00:52:00.002+08:00

it's your birthday today
all that's on my mind is 'i'm so sorry'
i never meant to hurt you the way i did

we just couldn't keep pretending nothing was wrong forever
and you never wanted to remember what went wrong
it hurts but it's over

and it's true... you never really knew me
i guess you never wanted to in the first place
and i was tired of pretending to be who you wanted me to be

but you were the one who left me
yes you did

late at night when all the world is sleeping

2010-11-10T03:23:00.001+08:00

my life as it is.
it may seem brilliant from your perspective.
maybe.. just maybe..

but you really don't know what's going on when everyone is asleep.
when i'm alone.

you

2010-11-07T20:18:00.002+08:00

i must be dreaming.

saturday

2010-10-30T14:20:00.000+08:00

please stop raining because we're going out!!!

(: i'm happy

but i do love you

2010-10-29T19:56:00.003+08:00

this is how it's all supposed to be.
i... am where i want to be.

-

i don't like to be alone in the night
i don't like to hear i'm wrong when i'm right
i don't like to have the rain on my shoes
but i do love you

i don't see the sky painted gray
i don't like when nothing's going my way
i don't like to be the one with the blues
but i do love you

i don't like to turn the radio on
just to find i missed my favourite song
i don't like to be the last with the news
but i do love you

love everything about the way you're loving me
the way you lay your head upon my shoulder when you sleep
and i love to kiss you in the rain
i love everything you do
i do

T

2010-10-28T14:23:00.001+08:00

有一种舒服的感觉
有一个让我快乐的人

分手

2010-10-27T01:08:00.002+08:00

也许真的是我的错
但是我害怕
我害怕未来
一个看不见的未来
也不想一次又一次受到伤害

我只是知道
心里有一种痛
一种说不清的痛
是因为你吗?
是不是因为我不断努力却看见你不断忘记?

我也不想再欺骗你
勉强在一起只会让彼此更难受
难道不是吗?

分手是你说的
但是我恨下心离开了
事实上,我早已心灰意冷
而你却还未感觉到我的失望
既然如今沦落到绝望
我想...就这样算了吧

反正,我已忘记在你怀里是什么样的一种感觉.

heart

2010-10-26T13:44:00.002+08:00

26th october 2010.
a new beginning.

brown eyes

2010-10-17T02:40:00.003+08:00

我最后还是败给了你,败给了自己

但是...现在的我好开心

6

2010-10-16T23:19:00.002+08:00

time is running out.

all of a sudden the only thing on my mind is...
our time is running out.

7

2010-10-15T01:56:00.003+08:00

如果接下来的7天是你所有的时间
你会怎么做?

也许一切即将结束
也许根本就没有开始
如果上天自有安排
祈祷我的未来里依然还有你

broken. again

2010-10-13T23:09:00.002+08:00

我不记得遇见你的第一刻.
却忘不了注意到你的那一刻.

我发现原来......

don't even ask.
anyway, i'm really going to phuket!!!
(:

later~

2010-10-13T01:08:00.002+08:00

如果还有明天
你是否会珍惜今天

如果明天会见面
你今天是否会等待某人的消息

blog!

2010-10-13T00:54:00.002+08:00

you simply can't imagine how much i miss blogging.
how much i miss doing up my blog.
and now that i'm back here i just can't help but wonder...
how did i ever manage to pick out that picture i took at pasir ris..
to turn it into that little image at the top left corner of my entries..
how did i ever find the time to trail and error..
such that ever box and every line seem to fall in place..
oh now i suddenly remember... i really did enjoy what i used to do in school.

你...还在吗?

BACK!

2010-10-12T00:34:00.003+08:00

dear people.
i'm back and back for good. or so i hope.
you know why?!
i left my job after over 2 years of slogging.
read: i finally saw the light!!!
so hooray and time to move on.
for who ever is interested to know...
yup, i found another job.
so i just hope life will get better from now on (:

but life as we all know... has never been so perfect.
i have yet another episode waiting to be buried deep deep down inside.
it's been so long since i last felt the pain i feel right now.
could it be because of you?

secret

2010-05-12T01:11:00.002+08:00

hey, anyone still here?
haha.

i'm still alive.
well, sort of.
i'm so sick now ):

random:
不能说的秘密... inside of me.

23

2010-03-10T00:18:00.002+08:00

another year older,
not that i got any wiser.
it still sucks that i'm sitting here alone even though it has always been this way.
somebody please.

happy birthday to me.

$400 holiday

2009-12-02T01:46:00.002+08:00

so i'm back with teddy in my arms and temperature rising still.
just told hongyu quite a detailed version of the vivek story.
and he's the first person totally out of the picture to hear it,
considering pipi was part of the heat in the argument.
having dumped it somewhere deep in the depths of my consciousness,
now that i dug it up i realised the blood is still dripping wet.

yes, tears shed and now it's over.
but no matter how drained work has left me,
i still feel and i still need to lean on someone, somewhere, somehow.
weak maybe.
question is: do u have enough left for me?

it's getting late

2009-12-02T00:14:00.002+08:00

plenty on my mind.
wanted to revive my blog with a large chunk but i don't know where to start.
so, forget it.

i've pretty much made up my mind.
gonna sell this old but still pretty lappy to get something smaller and more convenient.

then, everything else on my mind revolves around work.
im sick and tired, literally.
time to have my temperature taken.
ciao ciao.

next month ; today

2009-10-11T16:03:00.003+08:00

i need tequila.
preferably jose cuervo or better.
of course not without chilled salt-rimmed glasses and ice.
a frozen drink would be refreshing.

anyone?

middle of the night

2009-09-14T03:35:00.002+08:00

you know people talk about bittersweet memories all the time...
it just occurred to me that i don't seem to have any.
i mean... i can't find the sweet.

but why?

grrr

2009-07-08T15:42:00.002+08:00

you know my housemates???
they're like the most disgusting people ever.

so when they just moved in the whole house turned into total dump.
everywhere reeked of smoke; ashes on the floor.
you think that's all? hell, no.
they even unrinate on the floor!

then on two consecutive occasions,
i woke up to find my room door unlocked.
apparently i do recall locking the door before i went to bed.
yes, freaky.
so the next day i made extra extra note to check the lock.
a call woke me up, said the girl in the last room some few hundred bucks.
and my door was locked just as i left it to be.
coincidence? i'm not so sure.

that girl was so very pissed indeed...
she ran for her life.
nowadays, the disgusting people leave the washing machine pipe connected to the tap so i have to remove it for them when i wanted to take a shower.
how considerate.
and i decided not to bathe last night so that they can have the pleasure of putting it back themselves today.
guess what? the faucet kind of broke and it was spraying water everywhere.
but clever me fixed it for them of course.
sick.
you think that's all? hell, no.

i bought a bag of chilli padi for cooking,
left it in the fridge,
when i wanted to use it there were only three left out of which two are already spoilt.
i had a can of hotdogs that i wanted to finish up before i started on the frozen pack.
i ate and ate with all my might and finally finished the canned ones.
one fine day i took out the frozen pack for the grand opening,
two were already missing.
f-u-c-k !!!
i wrapped the pitiful thing in plastic bag nicely,
went to check back on it just now,
one more missing.

the rubbish chute used to be cleaner than i ever imagined any rubbish chute could be, now has a god damn sock and some cotton bits and maggi mee and whatever!
i mean, it's meant to throw things down.
not to leave it stuck down there.
stupid people, i really fucking hate them.

my febreeze for making clothes smell nice,
i didn't want them to know what it was and use it like they used my washing detergent,
so i transferred it into an unbranded container and left it outside.
it was almost finished one day,
and the next it was full again.
what? do they think it's water?

i make ice and keep them in the freezer, a whole box of them.
and they just use it and don't even bother to refill.
is it so hard to fill up the ice trays with water?

and just last night, they left a glass bottle of carlsberg in the freezer.
you know science? pressure?
yeah, the bottle 'exploded'.
frozen foam and beer all over the place, hanging like icicles even.
not forgetting shattered glass.
they just left it there like nothing ever happened.
you think that's all? i'm just lazy to go on.

somehow i wish that they just get hit by a car on the road or something.
these people, why are they here to waste our oxygen?
like literally.
i mean i smoke, you smoke.
but why is it that you stink up the whole house and i don't?
'cause you're dumb, right?

KEYS

2009-06-30T14:22:00.002+08:00

guess what?

i locked myself out of my room last night or this morning you would say.
according to yinsan: smart.

thanks.

fwah

2009-06-18T15:31:00.000+08:00

yesterday:
i bumped into huiyun at somerset MRT platform.
she was on the way to meet yanxi.
since i had nothing better to do, i joined them.
they had dinner at chicago steakhouse in cineleisure,
and thought one of the waiters looked like yanguang.
yanxi had a $10 topshop voucher to redeem so we went to isetan at takashimaya.
went one storey too high and bumped into yan guang who also saw kelven earlier in the day.
decided to meet zijing and the rest at serangoon.
and bumped into bobby and family at shop and save.

what a day.

captain

2009-06-10T03:52:00.001+08:00

okay, so i got promoted.
now what?

away

2009-04-29T12:27:00.000+08:00

i'm away.
to say goodbye to grandpa in malaysia.

goodbye grandpa

2009-04-26T00:44:00.002+08:00

two weeks ago i lost an uncle.
tonight, i lost grandpa.

i can't sleep.